23 June 2024

I write this from Nanny Cay, British Virgin Islands, and am looking at our floating home.

What have I gotten myself into?

Surprisingly, I am more motivated and eager than stressed or anxious. I know I can’t predict nor control the future and happy to have this fortunate opportunity. This will be a true chance to be here now. To let things go. To feel and release. To not attach. To come back to my breath and senses. To be alive and let life move me along. To be at the mercy of the elements – the wind and sea. And sun and heat, haha.

I want this. It sounds fun. It sounds challenging. It sounds like it will be full of the things that make life good. I want it for my family and to experience it with my family. I want the same things for them and hope that they want them, at least a little, too. I wish I could bring all 5 of them, 6 of us.

I’m not sure why or where it started. But this seems like the right thing to do now. It is the thing we are doing now. A dream, literally, has become real. And not in a dream like it was something unreachable or unrealistic. It has been an idea that has grown. It became a living thing. It took us over. It earned it’s own existence and soma. It became a part of us and now we are one. It is happening together. We are evolving.

Will we become sailors? Will we hate it? Will we want to divorce? “We know nothing, John Snow!”. And this is as it should be. Because, in truth, we know nothing now. We never knew anything. I think the comfort of modern life – that against which we rebel – has made us arrogant. We think the comfort we experience has something to do with us. It just has something to do with non-motion. With stagnation. With sameness. It’s Groundhog Day all over again. It is comfortable because it isn’t challenging. Life hasn’t challenged us.

No, wait, I take that back. Life is always challenging. For example, Kathleen’s job is a massive challenge. We could have stayed put and focused on that discomfort and used it as an opportunity for growth. But we didn’t want to do that. We could have. Sailing isn’t some metaphorical or magical or special challenge, it’s just more fun. So rather than pursue a special type of life challenge, we choose to meld a fun and different lifestyle that both provides a massive challenge but also offers an interesting and different perspective.

There are challenges everyday. Life is suffering. Life is impermanent. Life is always going to present us with challenges and opportunities to learn. Some of those are much more uncomfortable. And it is arguable which is more uncomfortable; Ks job or the sailing life. The job brought with it so many other challenges but also so many incredible comforts. The lack of those comforts is challenge enough. Moving into a small house next door and not having an income would have been hard enough. This is next level.